Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I could'a been a contender

Back in the day I used to be a pissed off paranoid freak who knew everything and told you what I knew and then we would argue why I was wrong until I told you I was just arguing for the heck of it and I thought the same way you did in the beginning.
In these recent days of being happy I have lost all control over myself and seem to find little time to bitch about anything. (Ain't that a bitch?)
What has happened?
The world has not gotten any better except for the amount of cash flowing into my pockets. There is still rampant strife everywhere else that I used to champion against.
Has my own welfare taken precedence?
Okay so I ain't no rich boy but then again I never wanted to become what I have seen all my life as wasted air being used by spoiled little people who will spend more in a day than I make in a year on something they think will do something for them and still not find what I have inside.
Not happiness.
Not contentment.
Certainly not bliss.
Me.
There is nothing greater in this world than being me. Even if we are not speaking about me.
Being yourself is way better than being what you think...
What you think is hip...
What you think you should be...
What you want to be...
And on and on...
My ego must be huge!
And yes! I do and did want to be someone else. In the end of the day I do like my piece of crap car that gets me to work everyday since I remember what it was like to have to walk everywhere. I do end up seeing myself sometimes with a smile on my face that doesn't make me cringe. I can't remember anything that I did that was so horrible that I ruin someone else's life. (I hope I don't remember any.)
I do respect others for their seemingly large brains.
When I do meet up with some of them though in settings more private it seems they specialized and don't know squat about other stuff like how to check their oil or what actually happens when you flush a toilet. Important stuff? Only if you drive and poop.
If you don't drive or have a toilet then I too am one of them folks who waste time with unnecessary knowledge.
Then again...
I am a moron.
What I know isn't worth spit.
What I can do and what I won't do don't mean nothing.
What I do say or seem to say never comes out the way I hear things in my brain.
The voice I hear on any recording of myself is not me, not even close.
What is happening?
I want to be abusive. I want to be an extrovert and make things uncomfortable for others yet I am respectful and quite.
Let loose the dogs of WAR!
I shall revel in your despair!
If I have too I guess I can be a pill.
Just now I'm having a good time.
I need something I can't buy yet I will get it if I am patient I think.
Someone wants me right?

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