Wednesday, March 15, 2006

gettin there

It has been a long time since I have felt like I have had the time to do anything like writing on a blog.
Right now is a good time.
A perfect time.
The heating works and everything is happening as I wish in my new home that I rent and I am satisfied for the moment.
I wish I more time to do the things I still need to do so that I will feel as if I have the time to do what I wish but that will take time.
Time.
Here I sit and complain about time and the rest of the world keeps passing me by with their own troubles with time.
I have to sort through a garage (YES!!! now I have a garage to put all the junk I don't want to have cluttering up my 'space'!) full of crap and pick what comes inside and what stays 'put away' yet I await a decent day to do this.
Why? Cause I'm a freak and need to know where things are and what about it?
I got brainwashed in the army and I can't do a thing with it (brain) since then.
Next I'll be complaining about not meeting the woman of my dreams.
Easy enough answer to that problem.
Lisa Robertson of the QVC channel probably has nothing but contempt for people of my sort so I won't go there.
She sure does seem like a good (high maintenance though,) person to me. I bet there is something she wishes for, perhaps like not being in the spotlight 'all' the time or maybe she thrives on the attention.
If only I could meet a special anyone.
I do meet people all the time but I am uncertain.
Like today.
A woman was walking her dog and was friendly enough to say hello and engage me in conversation for a minute about how nice the day was. I assume it was her dog. Then later upon her return up the street I (we) spoke again and her dog had to meet me giving me the feeling she was not repulsed by my mere presence. Would it have been wrong to speak a little more intimately with her? Ask her how she was doing? Skirt around the old 'Your husband must be a happy guy to have you 'gag' and delve into the pickup line pressure talk I always feel women must be annoyed with (if not flattered with) and risk a negative response? She wasn't any 'Lisa' but she was nice. Why do I feel as if I have to keep a disconnection between myself and everyone else so that they don't get any mixed messages?
I never got into any trouble with any mis-direction before.
Maybe I'm just shy.
Good enough for me for now.
Better to be me than to be some of these other freaks out there.
I have no enemies that rage against me to my knowing.
I have no one but my family concerned with what I do.
I am no one.
Just as I like it.
That doesn't repulse the feeling that I want more respect.
I have done what I have done and I think I need some respect.
I saved the world didn't I?
Maybe I didn't actually save the world but who knows? Maybe I did?
You owe me big time.
If I had done that instead of this I could have started world war three and then where would you all be?
Under my thumb!
Have a great day as I trust I shall also enjoy.
Love to all and more to 'her'.
There is nothing I cannot do.
Say's me.

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