Almost afraid
I have done the very thing I have hoped to accomplish in my recent actions and now I wait for the deed to transpire.
Monday will be the first day in what I hope will be the beginning to a beautiful world that will open my eyes to the wonders of life that have escaped me for so long, hidden by the fear and loathing of how the world treats it's lowest creatures who merely desire to experience life and not to participate in the frenzy of 'the game'.
I myself hope to no longer have the minor worries of the past that have plagued me.
Now... If only the world can contain itself just a little longer and not destroy itself, I will attempt to be happier than ever.
Such a small thing huh?
This next step forward will not change me, it will give me hope that the rest of the world can do the very same.
I will not forget what I have survived through nor the people I have left behind.
My next chapter in this life might just be my worst nightmare after all, but lets let things happen and see if there is anything I can do to control myself.
This news of the flu pandemic coming soon is not worrisome to myself, I can whoop any virus that comes my way due to the fact that I have a will to live like no other person I know of. There is something I have been placed in this time and place to do and as far as I can see it is not to die from a bug.
Will the world allow the people to suffer? Will a certain government spread this newest disease among it's enemy's just so that they are not the only country stricken?
The paranoia that spreads through my mind with the possibilities of the evil that men are capable of doing sends me into shock knowing that I too am capable of these actions all done in the name of what I believe to be good and right.
While I live and breathe there is a fear in me that I have the responsibility of the world on my shoulders, that my next deed or action just might be the lever that sends the world spinning into a darkness that none shall enjoy.
A impoliteness given out without thought, a gesture or action that drives another over the edge, a pivotal word that starts the whole ball of wax melting into a puddle.
Oh yeah, I am the only one out here that has anything to do with the ways of the world and what happens.
If I wake up from this dream all of you will cease to exist and I will forget everything in a moment as I rise to face another day in the real world.
How do you know? How would I know?
Pinch me?
I've had some dreams where everything is real. Sights, sounds, textures, everything. As real as this world is right now. Thank goodness I am not prone to having nightmares. With my imagination I could easily scare myself to death. I did once. Okay, not to death but the image I saw was the scariest thing ever thought of and I hope it was nothing to do with the future because if it is I am a dead man.
Whatever it was in my dream that scared me made this world I am experiencing right now seem like paradise which this world just might be after all.
Right here, right now might just be the best we (or I) will ever have things.
With the price of everything going up and out of here, the rich getting way to rich and the poor becoming way to poor, what is left?
Is there someone who is coming along to make everything okay?
If they do try I bet they get killed by the 'others'.
The only thing I see bringing everybody to a level playing field is perhaps something like aliens coming around and letting us know that we are not alone.
Maybe eating a few of us to draw us into a family of earthlings instead of the fractured people we are right now.
All I know is if they eat us then they must be able to be eaten by us as well and there are few things worse than a cornered human.
How about an asteroid hitting the planet and the next chapter of evolution happens in a couple hundred million years with the next dominant race of creature finding bones of our time on earth and wondering what happened to us just as we wonder what happened to the dinosaurs, whom I believe were around for millions of years while we are still only thousands of years young and have ruined certain things already.
Maybe.
Maybe there is a plan and things are going right along as they should.
I am supposed to think this and go out today and do that.
If I have no choice in the matter then I have no responsibility for my actions do I?
Everything is going to happen with or without my saying a darn thing.
Unless there is free will out there and my actions are a ripple in time and cause and effect will make a difference.
The old stories about time travelers who go back in time and step on a bug which then changes everything sort of deal.
Beware what you do then.
Do you want to be remembered as the person who saved the world or ended mankind's rule?
I don't care really.
Starting Monday I will better myself and grow.
Unlike you and you who will stay in the comfort of your ruts and stagnate.
I am so going to pay for my rantings.
Maybe today I will find that certain someone as well.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe never.
At least I have my mind back inside my head.
Monday will be the first day in what I hope will be the beginning to a beautiful world that will open my eyes to the wonders of life that have escaped me for so long, hidden by the fear and loathing of how the world treats it's lowest creatures who merely desire to experience life and not to participate in the frenzy of 'the game'.
I myself hope to no longer have the minor worries of the past that have plagued me.
Now... If only the world can contain itself just a little longer and not destroy itself, I will attempt to be happier than ever.
Such a small thing huh?
This next step forward will not change me, it will give me hope that the rest of the world can do the very same.
I will not forget what I have survived through nor the people I have left behind.
My next chapter in this life might just be my worst nightmare after all, but lets let things happen and see if there is anything I can do to control myself.
This news of the flu pandemic coming soon is not worrisome to myself, I can whoop any virus that comes my way due to the fact that I have a will to live like no other person I know of. There is something I have been placed in this time and place to do and as far as I can see it is not to die from a bug.
Will the world allow the people to suffer? Will a certain government spread this newest disease among it's enemy's just so that they are not the only country stricken?
The paranoia that spreads through my mind with the possibilities of the evil that men are capable of doing sends me into shock knowing that I too am capable of these actions all done in the name of what I believe to be good and right.
While I live and breathe there is a fear in me that I have the responsibility of the world on my shoulders, that my next deed or action just might be the lever that sends the world spinning into a darkness that none shall enjoy.
A impoliteness given out without thought, a gesture or action that drives another over the edge, a pivotal word that starts the whole ball of wax melting into a puddle.
Oh yeah, I am the only one out here that has anything to do with the ways of the world and what happens.
If I wake up from this dream all of you will cease to exist and I will forget everything in a moment as I rise to face another day in the real world.
How do you know? How would I know?
Pinch me?
I've had some dreams where everything is real. Sights, sounds, textures, everything. As real as this world is right now. Thank goodness I am not prone to having nightmares. With my imagination I could easily scare myself to death. I did once. Okay, not to death but the image I saw was the scariest thing ever thought of and I hope it was nothing to do with the future because if it is I am a dead man.
Whatever it was in my dream that scared me made this world I am experiencing right now seem like paradise which this world just might be after all.
Right here, right now might just be the best we (or I) will ever have things.
With the price of everything going up and out of here, the rich getting way to rich and the poor becoming way to poor, what is left?
Is there someone who is coming along to make everything okay?
If they do try I bet they get killed by the 'others'.
The only thing I see bringing everybody to a level playing field is perhaps something like aliens coming around and letting us know that we are not alone.
Maybe eating a few of us to draw us into a family of earthlings instead of the fractured people we are right now.
All I know is if they eat us then they must be able to be eaten by us as well and there are few things worse than a cornered human.
How about an asteroid hitting the planet and the next chapter of evolution happens in a couple hundred million years with the next dominant race of creature finding bones of our time on earth and wondering what happened to us just as we wonder what happened to the dinosaurs, whom I believe were around for millions of years while we are still only thousands of years young and have ruined certain things already.
Maybe.
Maybe there is a plan and things are going right along as they should.
I am supposed to think this and go out today and do that.
If I have no choice in the matter then I have no responsibility for my actions do I?
Everything is going to happen with or without my saying a darn thing.
Unless there is free will out there and my actions are a ripple in time and cause and effect will make a difference.
The old stories about time travelers who go back in time and step on a bug which then changes everything sort of deal.
Beware what you do then.
Do you want to be remembered as the person who saved the world or ended mankind's rule?
I don't care really.
Starting Monday I will better myself and grow.
Unlike you and you who will stay in the comfort of your ruts and stagnate.
I am so going to pay for my rantings.
Maybe today I will find that certain someone as well.
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe never.
At least I have my mind back inside my head.
posted by DMHICK at 12:04 AM
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