What am I?

Now that the pressure is off from the holiday season I am relaxing and wasting time doing what I do best. That's right. Not a darn thing.
How can I be such a dufuss and whine and complain about all that I have been going through without realizing that other people are going through much much worse?
Simply enough I am not other people.
I'm sorry I feel empathy for others while still being selfish enough to be concerned about the tiny problems I face day to day.
My dealing with co-workers and the neighbors and landlords and everyone else sometimes affects my sleep and that affects me. I like having things done a certain way. Probably 'my way' but what the heck, in my life I'm always in the right.
Being the shallow person that I am should be no surprise to anyone.
When I used to feel like I had a chance at being someone different from the rest I got beat down and reminded that I am no one special and to forget about any dreams I have since I am not going to amount to anything anyway.
I learned early (not early enough) that you are born into privilege and anyone attempting to rise above will be tolerated perhaps, but never accepted as an equal.
Listen to that whine!
Oh whoa is me!
I'm not going to be a putz like the rich people I see everyday!
I can be normal!
Yeah!
I can be me and forget all about trying to conform.
The prize has not been hung to high. I found out that the prize is not worth the effort or what you have to lose to attain the ever elusive golden fleece.
I have nothing. I want for very little. I am happy.
I have not given up on anything.
Tickle me. Do I not laugh?
I will be better when I get better.
Until then forget everything.
I am waiting.
Patiently.